Beyond the Headline
Written by Tiff / A Grief Moment
Content note: This article discusses the traumatic loss of family members, violence within a family home, and the experiences of children affected by these events. Readers who are sensitive to topics involving childhood trauma, violent loss, or grief may wish to take a moment to consider their comfort before reading.
The Story That Stayed With Me
Some headlines stay with us long after we have finished reading them. Not simply because of what happened, but because of the questions they leave behind.
When I came across the story of Donyavia Lagway, her partner, Gregory Carhee, and their six-year-old daughter, Harmony Carhee, I found myself thinking about the children connected to this tragedy. In June 2021, the family was attacked inside their Houston apartment. Donyavia, Gregory, and Harmony were killed. Their ten-year-old daughter survived a gunshot wound, and their one-year-old son also survived. Their eight-year-old son was away from the apartment at the time.
As I read the reporting, I kept returning to the ten-year-old girl who survived an experience no child should ever have to face. According to public reporting, she was injured, pretended to be dead, waited until the gunman left, and then sought help for herself and her baby brother.
It is difficult to sit with the reality of what happened inside that home. It is also important to recognize that behind the headline are children whose lives were changed by a tragedy they did not choose.
As I reflect on this story, I want to look beyond the details of the crime and consider the grief, trauma, and developmental questions that may follow a loss of this magnitude. I cannot know the private experiences of these children, and I will not pretend to. But I can use what is publicly known about the case to reflect on why children affected by traumatic loss deserve our attention, compassion, and continued support.
When a Relationship Ends, Who Is Responsible for What Comes Next?
Public reporting on this case described Alexus Chenelle Williams as Donyavia’s former romantic partner. Williams was accused of arranging the attack and was sentenced to 40 years in prison in 2026. Xavier Dominique Davis, identified as the gunman, was sentenced to death in 2025.
These details are part of the public record, but I find myself thinking about the larger questions surrounding violence within intimate and family relationships. What happens when conflict between adults escalates to the point that children become victims? What responsibilities do adults have to protect children from disputes and decisions that are not theirs to carry?
A relationship ending can bring difficult emotions, disappointment, anger, and conflict. But children should never become targets or casualties of those feelings. They depend on adults to provide safety, stability, and protection, particularly when the adults in their lives are experiencing conflict.
When violence enters a family home, the consequences do not end when the immediate danger has passed. Children who survive may face the loss of caregivers, siblings, routines, and the familiar world they once knew. They may also have to navigate medical needs, changes in living arrangements, grief, and questions about what happened.
We cannot assume that every child will understand these events in the same way. Their age, developmental stage, previous experiences, relationships, and access to support may all influence how they respond.
What remains clear is that children should not have to bear the consequences of adults’ decisions to use violence.
A Ten-Year-Old Girl Who Should Have Been Worrying About Being Ten
I am an adult who has raised four children. I have lived long enough to understand that life can bring experiences we never anticipated. Even so, I cannot fully imagine what it was like for Lyric to experience what happened inside her own home.
According to reporting on the case, Lyric was shot in the arm, pretended to be dead, and waited until the gunman left. She then secured the home, got her one-year-old brother, and contacted her grandmother for help. Her actions helped bring the situation to the attention of authorities.
Take a moment to consider what that means without needing to revisit every detail of the violence.
At ten years old, a child is still learning about relationships, trust, independence, and the world around them. Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development identifies the school-age years with the stage of industry versus inferiority. During this period, children are developing a sense of competence through school, friendships, activities, and their interactions with others.
These developmental tasks are important, but children do not all develop in exactly the same way or on the same timeline. A traumatic experience does not automatically determine a child’s future. It can, however, introduce challenges that deserve thoughtful attention and appropriate support.
At ten, I was not walking through my days expecting someone to enter my home and harm my family. I was not imagining that the place where I slept, played, and spent time with the people I loved could become the setting for such a tragedy.
I keep returning to one detail: Lyric was ten years old, and she had to play dead to survive.
There is something deeply difficult about sitting with that reality. Playing dead is not something we associate with childhood. It is not something a ten-year-old should have to consider in order to stay alive. At an age when a child should be focused on school, friendships, play, and everyday discoveries, Lyric was placed in a situation where pretending to be dead may have been part of how she survived.
I find myself wondering what was going through her mind in those moments. Did she understand the danger surrounding her? Did she know what might happen if she moved? Was she trying to stay as still as possible because she believed that was what she needed to do to survive? I cannot answer these questions, and I do not want to assume that I know what she was thinking or feeling. But I believe we should pause long enough to recognize the fear and uncertainty a child may face when confronted with a situation like this.
According to her testimony, Lyric witnessed the gunman shoot her parents and her younger sister before she was shot herself. After the gunman left, she survived and sought help for herself and her baby brother. I find myself thinking about the transition from trying to survive the immediate danger to having to figure out what to do next. She was injured, she was still a child, and the people she would ordinarily have looked to for protection had been shot.
I wonder what she understood about what had happened to her family as she tried to get help. I wonder what she feared, what she remembered, and what questions she may have had in the moments that followed. These are questions I can ask, but I cannot claim to know her answers.
What stands out to me is that she should never have been placed in a position where she had to make those decisions. She should not have had to pretend to be dead in her own home. She should not have had to respond to violence at a time when she should have been able to depend on adults to keep her safe.
I also do not want her survival to become an expectation that she must always be strong. We can recognize the actions that helped her survive without forgetting that she was a child who had just experienced something terrifying. She deserved protection, care, and the opportunity to be a ten-year-old, not the responsibility of surviving violence in her own home.
I cannot know what Lyric understood in those moments, what she remembers, or what questions she may have asked afterward. I will not pretend that I can.
But I can recognize the magnitude of what she experienced.
Imagine having to respond to a life-threatening situation while still being a child. Imagine having to seek help for your baby brother while the people you depend on for protection are no longer there to protect you. Imagine leaving that night without knowing the full extent of what had happened to your family.
We should not overlook the innocence of childhood when we read a headline like this. Children are not simply smaller versions of adults. They are developing human beings whose understanding of themselves, their relationships, and the world around them continues to grow. And what happens when an experience this frightening becomes part of that developmental journey?
When Trauma and Grief Become Intertwined
Grief following a death can be difficult under any circumstances. When a death occurs through violence, the experience may be complicated by traumatic stress, fear, and distressing reminders of what happened.
Research on childhood traumatic grief explores how trauma-related reactions can interfere with a child’s ability to process and adapt to the death of someone important to them. For some children, thoughts or reminders connected to the circumstances of a death may make it difficult to engage with memories of the person who died or to work through their grief (Cohen et al., 2002; Mannarino & Cohen, 2011).
This does not mean that every child who experiences a violent loss will develop a trauma-related condition or experience grief in the same way. Children’s responses vary, and we should avoid making assumptions about a particular child’s emotional or psychological state without appropriate information.
In a situation like this, however, the losses may extend far beyond the deaths themselves. A surviving child may lose a parent, a sibling, a sense of security, and the familiar structure of everyday life all at once. The home that once represented comfort may also become associated with danger.
For a child, these experiences can raise difficult questions about safety and trust. They may need help understanding what happened, expressing feelings, adjusting to changes, and making sense of the absence of the people they love.
Support should be responsive to the individual child rather than based on assumptions about what they must be feeling. Research on treatment for childhood traumatic grief highlights the importance of interventions that address both trauma-related distress and grief (Cohen et al., 2004).
What matters is that a child is not left to navigate these experiences without appropriate care. Supportive adults and qualified professionals can help children process difficult experiences while respecting their individual needs and pace.
And What About Her One-Year-Old Brother?
It is also important to consider the one-year-old child who survived.
At that age, a child may not understand death in the way an older child does. That does not mean the loss of familiar caregivers or changes in the caregiving environment are unimportant. Very young children rely on consistent, responsive adults to help meet their needs and establish a sense of safety.
We cannot know what this child experienced internally or what he may remember as he grows older. It would be inappropriate to assume that he understood the violence or the deaths in the same way an older child might.
Still, his circumstances raise important questions about what happens when a very young child loses the people who have cared for him. Who will provide consistent care? How will his needs be recognized as he grows? How will the adults around him help him understand his family story in an age-appropriate way?
These questions are not about predicting a particular outcome. They are about recognizing that children of different ages need different forms of care and support after traumatic loss.
Research concerning children who survive intrafamilial homicide points to the importance of understanding their needs and providing appropriate interventions (Pastrana et al., 2022). The effects of a tragedy can continue to matter as children grow, which makes ongoing, responsive support especially important.
What Did Their Home Feel Like Before That Night?
When we read about a violent tragedy, we often encounter the details of what happened. We learn where it occurred, who was involved, and what followed. But the headline rarely tells us what everyday life looked like before the tragedy.
We do not know the full experience of these children before that night. We cannot assume what their relationships were like, how safe they felt, or what they understood about the adults around them.
Still, I find myself thinking about the ordinary moments that make up childhood. Getting ready for school. Playing with a sibling. Asking a parent for help. Sitting in a familiar room. Expecting the people you love to be there when you wake up.
These everyday moments can seem small until we consider how much children depend on familiarity and routine. A home is not simply a physical space. For many children, it is connected to relationships, expectations, and a sense of belonging.
When a tragedy changes that environment, a child may have to adjust to a world that no longer feels familiar. There may be new caregivers, new living arrangements, new routines, and unanswered questions about the people who are no longer there.
I do not want to fill in the unknown parts of this family’s story with assumptions. Instead, I want to recognize that every child affected by a tragedy has a life beyond the headline, including experiences and needs that the public may never fully know.
That is one reason it matters how we talk about children who survive violence. They deserve to be recognized as children with ongoing lives, not defined only by what happened to them.
We Must Be Careful With the Word “Resilience”
When a child survives something devastating, people may describe that child as strong, brave, or resilient. Those words can be expressions of admiration, particularly when a child has taken action in an extraordinary situation.
But I believe we must be careful about what we expect those words to mean.
Lyric’s actions helped her survive and seek help for her younger brother. That deserves recognition. It does not mean that she should be expected to recover quickly, remain strong at all times, or carry the burden of being seen as a hero.
Survival and emotional recovery are not the same thing. A child can take action in an emergency and still need extensive care and support afterward. A child can demonstrate courage in one moment and feel frightened, confused, or overwhelmed at another time.
Resilience is not simply the ability to endure hardship without showing distress. Research has highlighted the importance of social support in understanding resilience, including the role that supportive relationships can play in helping people navigate adversity (Southwick et al., 2016).
For children, that support may include safe and consistent caregivers, trusted adults, access to mental health care when needed, and an environment where their questions and emotions are taken seriously.
Research on supportive adults during middle childhood also underscores the value of relationships that encourage children’s positive development (Oberle et al., 2014).
We cannot know what recovery will look like for any individual child. We can, however, recognize that children deserve support without having to prove that they are resilient.
They deserve to be cared for on difficult days as well as good ones. They deserve room to grow beyond what happened to them. And they deserve adults who recognize their needs without placing expectations on how they should grieve.
Let’s Pause Beyond the Headline
When I reflect on this case, I keep coming back to the fact that these were children whose lives were changed by violence within their own family environment.
One child was killed at six years old. Two young children survived inside the apartment. Another child was away from the home. Each child’s experience is different, and we cannot assume that they will understand, remember, or respond to the tragedy in the same way.
What we can do is resist the temptation to treat the story as only a crime report. We can recognize the developmental needs of children who experience traumatic loss. We can acknowledge the importance of safety, consistent care, and appropriate support. And we can remember that surviving a tragedy does not mean a child should be expected to carry it alone.
As I continue my learning in social work and my work on A Grief Moment, I am reminded that grief does not exist in isolation. It can intersect with trauma, changes in family relationships, disruptions to a child’s sense of safety, and questions that may unfold over many years.
We may never know every detail of what these children experienced or how they will understand the tragedy as they grow. Their privacy and dignity matter, and their experiences should not become a reason for us to make assumptions about their lives.
But we can pause. We can look beyond the headline. And we can remember that children affected by traumatic loss deserve more than sympathy in the moment. They deserve sustained care, protection, understanding, and the opportunity to continue developing beyond the worst thing that has happened to them.
Because a child should be allowed to be a child.
And no child should have to pretend to be dead to survive in their own home.
Give yourself a moment to pause, reflect, and process.
References
ABC13 Houston. (2021, July 2). Grandmother says 10-year-old who played dead during family’s killing is a hero. https://abc13.com/post/fondren-apartment-complex-shooting-little-girl-shot-and-killed-mother-fatally/10852188/
ABC13 Houston. (2026, September 29). Alexus Williams, convicted in planning murder of ex-girlfriend’s family in 2021, sentenced to 40 years in prison, records say. https://abc13.com/post/alexus-williams-convicted-planning-murder-ex-girlfriends-family-2021-sentenced-40-years-prison-records-say/
Cohen, J. A., Mannarino, A. P., Greenberg, T., Padlo, S., & Shipley, C. (2002). Childhood traumatic grief: Concepts and controversies. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 3(4), 307–327. https://doi.org/10.1177/1524838002237332
Cohen, J. A., Mannarino, A. P., & Knudsen, K. (2004). Treating childhood traumatic grief: A pilot study. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 43(10), 1225–1233. https://doi.org/10.1097/01.chi.0000135620.15522.38
Houston Police Department. (2021, July 2). UPDATE: Suspect arrested, charged in fatal shooting at 12101 Fondren Road. https://www.houstontx.gov/police/nr/2021/jul/nr070221-5.htm
Mannarino, A. P., & Cohen, J. A. (2011). Traumatic loss in children and adolescents. Journal of Child & Adolescent Trauma, 4, 22–33. https://doi.org/10.1080/19361521.2011.545048
Oberle, E., Schonert-Reichl, K. A., Guhn, M., Zumbo, B. D., & Hertzman, C. (2014). The role of supportive adults in promoting positive development in middle childhood: A population-based study. Canadian Journal of School Psychology, 29(4). https://doi.org/10.1177/0829573514540116
Pastrana, F. A., Moreland, A. D., Milman, E. J., Williams, J. L., delMas, S., & Rheingold, A. A. (2022). Interventions for child and adolescent survivors of intrafamilial homicide: A review of the literature. Death Studies, 46(5), 1206–1218. https://doi.org/10.1080/07481187.2020.1805819
Southwick, S. M., Sippel, L., Krystal, J., Charney, D., Mayes, L., & Pietrzak, R. H. (2016). Why are some individuals more resilient than others: The role of social support. World Psychiatry, 15(1), 77–79. https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.20282
Click2Houston. (2022, March 7). “She had to watch it”: Assistant DA talks about 11-year-old who witnessed family’s execution; no bond for suspect. https://www.click2houston.com/news/local/2022/03/07/she-had-to-watch-it-assistant-da-talks-about-11-year-old-who-witnessed-familys-execution-suspect-given-no-bond/
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